1. Your best friends are Ben and Jerry and Mr. Haagen-Dazs. Face it, we all love ice cream and if we could figure a way to live on it, we probably would.
2. Fat is your favorite food group. Fat in most variations tastes good. Why do you thing marbling is desirable in steak? It’s the fat running through the tissue that gives it taste. We love the taste of fat, pure and simple.
3. Fried is your second favorite food group. Fried food is fried in… fat so refer to number two. Fat is good, we love the taste of fat, therefore fried food is good.
4. Sugar is made from a plant so you figure you’re eating your vegetables. Most of us have at least one sweet tooth and if it’s only one, it’s the biggest one in our mouths. Sometimes it gets so big we have a hard time closing our mouths around it.
5. You believe that pizza covers all the major food groups. After all, the crust is basically grain, since it’s made with flour. You have peppers and onions and other green things to cover the veggie group. The cheese covers the dairy group and some even have pineapple to cover the fruit group.
6. You can make reservations with the best of them. Eating out means all sorts of fatty foods and pastas and your sweet tooth will be waiting impatiently for dessert to arrive.
7. Exercise takes time and energy that could be used sitting in front of a TV with a beer watching other people exercise. That’s why football and baseball are so popular.
8. Rice cakes and granola or bacon, eggs and pancakes, which would you rather have for breakfast?
9. You believe that if your food won’t kill you, something else will.
10. You don’t believe that the human race climbed all the way up to the top of the food chain only to be reduced back down to green plant grazers.
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